20 Great Things About Dating a Writer

You can read the original “20 Great Things” post here.

I’ve seen this list several times floating around the internet, and I guess for a while after its publication it went viral in the blogging world.  Maybe I’m a little late to the party, but after a long conversation last night with my boyfriend, I realized that posting this might help him get a little better perspective on what he stands to gain or lose by choosing to stay with my slightly cracked writer self.  But in the interest of being genuine, I’ve taken the skeleton of the original post and added some new flesh to make it personal.

20 Great Things About Dating a Writer

1.  I will romance you with words.  Love letters are no longer a thing of the past, not with me.  Maybe a note turns up in the jeans you wore to work, or a letter appears on your night stand after I go home.  I will tell you everything that’s great about you, at length, until I’m sure that you know exactly what kind of a wonderful person you are in my eyes.

2. I will write about you.  Sometimes you’ll notice I posted something new in my blog, and you’ll recognize yourself reflected in what I’ve written.  You will, in a way, be immortalized in word.

3. I will take you to interesting events.  Part of being a writer is broadening my horizons, which in turn broadens my writing.  You don’t always have to go, but expect to be invited to anything from drag shows to flea markets, or to watch a weird movie, or to find some beautiful natural wonder hidden in the woods near where I live.

4. I will remind you that money doens’t matter so much.  I know it matters, in its own way.  I know that money can’t buy happiness, but a happy home can’t be built on hopes and dreams.  But I also know that persuing one’s passion is the key to happiness, and the money should always be secondary.  After all, I am a writer, and writers don’t write to get rich.

5.  I will acknowledge you and dedicate things to you.   Open up the cover of any book and you’ll see a page with a dedication.  Sometimes it’s long and lists several people by name, and other times it’s short and sweet and refers only to a loving wife, or a supportive boyfriend.  Expect to be named as a motivator, a supporter, or a muse.

6.  I will offer you an interesting perspective on things.  As a writer, I experience life twice: in living and in writing.  I don’t just let little details slip by me in a rush from one point to the next.  I take in as much as I can from every experience, whether that means noticing a dandelion popping up through the ground in February, or all of the many and crazy ways people handle life, love, loss, disappoinment, and the rest.  Stick with me and you’ll soon be privy to all of my insights, and maybe you’ll begin to see the world a little differently, hopefully for the better.

7.  I’m smart.  I have to be.  I can’t just pick up a pencil and put it to paper and expect to create something worth reading unless I’m well-read and well-educated.  I won’t ever stop trying to learn new things, whether it’s fixing a car or finally figuring out just how the hell to properly use a semicolon.  I can hold a conversation.  I can match your wit.  I can make you laugh and make you cry, and it’s all because of what I’ve learned.

8.  I’m really passionate.  I use all of my senses, every one of them, in writing and in living.  I live my life with purposeful intensity, realistically expecting that hurt and joy are both inevitable.  Maybe, if you let it, my passion can enhance yours.

9.  I can think through my feelings.  I may be passionate, but I don’t fly off the handle or shoot from the hip when there’s confrontation.  I take a long time to process my thoughts and try to never make a decision without first weighing the possible consequences.

10.  I enjoy my solitude.  Unless we’re in a “honeymoon” phase, I’ll have times when I want to be alone.  That means if you want to go out with your friends or play some video games or otherwise do something that doesn’t involve me, that’s fine.  Because the act of writing can’t involve you.  I need my space to write, just like you need your space to be a man.

11.  I’m creative.  That might seem like a “duh” statement, but there’s a deeper application to my creativity.  I’m more capable, as a creative, of finding solutions to problems that most people wouldn’t recognize.  I can see a problem from many different angles, and from there work out what the best strategy is to handle said problems.

12.  I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I don’t hide my emotions, not one little bit.  If I’m happy, I’ll smile.  If I’m excited, I’ll giggle.  If I’m sad, my gaze will be downcast.  If I’m gloomy, my shoulders will slump.  You’ll never have to guess what my emotional temperature is at the moment: if I’m hot I’ll be hot, if I’m cold I’ll be cold.  I won’t fake anything.

13.  I’ll teach you some cool new words.  It might be agitating to hear me use a huge word in an every day conversation, but I’ll do it.  Don’t feel silly asking me to explain myself, either.  I love to explain.  I love words.

14.  I can adjust my schedule for you.  Even if I’m working, I don’t have to spend my writing time at the same time every day.  Writing is great, but life is better.  And life with you is best.

15.  I can find 1000 ways to tell you why I like you.  I’ll call you lovely, or handsome, or gorgeous.  I’ll tell you that you’re wonderful and remind you that your quirks are sexy.  I love to express myself, especially when my self expression means giving you a little boost in self esteem.  Because, honey, you certainly deserve to feel just as special, wonderful, and unique as you are.

16.  I communicate in a bunch of different ways.  Communication is important to me, but text works just as well as a call or a conversation face to face.

17.  I can work from anywhere.  It’s important for me to work on my writing, but I can take my iPad with me anywhere we go.  Fishing trips, family visits, wherever.  As long as I’m not being rude, if inspiration strikes wherever I am I can just take out my iPad and work without interfering with what’s going on.

18.  I surround myself with interesting people.  I know hippies and bikers and factory workers and hipsters and rock stars and goths and drag queens and rappers and gamers, and I value each and every one of them for what makes them unique and interesting.  Meeting new people doesn’t frighten me, and the thought of introducing you to old friends is certainly exciting.

19.  I’m easy to buy gifts for.  If you want to figure out what to get me, look at the kind of notebooks I’m using, my pens and pencils, and the other weapons in my writing arsenol.  Go to a craft store and look until you find something that seems like it could be useful for my writing.  Chances are it’ll be cheap, so you won’t go broke keeping me happy.  I value thoughtfulness over dollar signs any day of the week!

20.  I’m sexy.  Come on, now.  Bookish types are hot.  Imagine me all dressed up like a librarian, horn rimmed glasses and a pencil skirt and a ruffled button up shirt with my hair in a bun… Yeah, you get the picture.


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